The Question That Turns Problems Into Growth
Write about a challenging situation and then ask yourself:
“How’s this the best thing that has ever happened to me?”
That’s it. That’s the whole idea. One question that can shift your perspective from negative to positive.
Honestly, I could stop here. If you leave with just that, it’s enough. But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t share a story about how this has actually been helping me.
Occasionally, something happens at work or in my personal life that makes me mad or frustrated. Sometimes I ask myself things like:
- “Why is this happening to me?”
- “How did I deserve this?”
- “AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGG!!!”
- Or, most often: “I don’t agree with this, it irritates me… but fine, I’ll do it.”
Sound familiar
That’s the loop most of us fall into. The problem is, it keeps us stuck. You feel the same irritation again and again, but nothing changes.
At some point, I got tired of staying stuck and started asking that question from the beginning of the article:
“How’s this the best thing that has ever happened to me?”
Not because I suddenly wanted to be overly positive, but because I wanted to see things differently. I wanted to look at the situations that made me upset and ask what I could learn from them. I wanted to figure out where I needed to grow so that I could handle them better in the future.
The hard part
The only real challenge here is honesty. It’s not easy to admit that you might have been wrong or still have a lot to learn. But once you get past that, the question becomes powerful.
And if you’re consistent, if you reflect and act on what you discover, you’ll see growth faster than expected. If you don’t act, then you end up with a journal full of insights that never leave the page.
Some examples
You might spend a whole week building something at work, only to discover a critical flaw just before release. The first thought is usually frustration: “That was a complete waste of time.” But if you look closer, it’s not wasted at all. You just caught a problem before it hit production. You learned where your process could be sharper, and that lesson will save you from shipping a much bigger mess later.
In bug bounty hunting, it’s common to grind for hours on a program and find… nothing. No bugs. No payout. It feels pointless. But here’s the thing: that “failure” is actually practice. You’ve detailed-mapped the application, trained your eye to spot patterns, and built patience. That knowledge carries over to your next hunt, and it’s exactly how breakthroughs happen.
Another one: your team spends weeks planning a feature, then leadership changes direction and scraps half of it. Naturally, you feel like all that effort was thrown away. But it’s also a chance to practice adaptability. Projects will always shift, sometimes overnight, and the more comfortable you are with letting go and moving fast, the more valuable you become in any career.
And then there’s the sting of reporting a vulnerability in a bug bounty program only to see it marked as a duplicate. It’s hard not to feel deflated. But duplicates aren’t losses. They’re proof you’re hunting in the right places. Your instincts are aligned with those of other skilled hackers. Every duplicate is one step closer to the report that lands.
Final thoughts
This whole practice isn’t about pretending bad situations are secretly good. It’s about pausing long enough to see what’s hidden inside them. A tough moment at work, a failed bug bounty attempt, or a project that changes direction overnight can all feel like setbacks in the moment. But with the right lens, they become some of the best teachers you’ll ever have.
So next time you catch yourself frustrated, stop and ask: “How’s this the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” Don’t force a perfect answer. Just sit with the question and see what comes up. Sometimes it’ll sting and sometimes feel silly, but eventually you’ll notice something shift.
And that shift, that small change in perspective, is where growth starts.
See You Soon!
